Fuck
So last night, as I was trying to sleep, my roommate told me something. It was Jijun, who is the sorta nosy one who likes to tell me off a lot but also provide me with information other people really don't divulge to me.
Anyway, he was saying that people are STILL talking about me being trans and gay and stuff, and specifically that they were looking at my YouTube. He told me to delete any that I had left, and I realised it was my video essays. There was another guy in the room with us, this is the one who is kind of not friendly with me and is also an inactive JW. He was saying that even HE heard about this, and that I'm in serious business if that's true because he's not really the nosy type and doesn't talk to a lot of people.
So the two of them, while watching, made me delete my video essays permanently while they watched. I wanted to just private them but they told me that's not good enough, and then said they couldn't trust me to do it off somewhere else.
So my video essays are gone now. I still have the video files, obviously, but the views and the comments are poof, gone. That pisses me off a lot. But honestly, I didn't like the first two video essays I made anyway. So this is not a too big of a loss, especially when I can reupload them eventually when I'm out of hot shit.
I just thought the essays didn't mattter because you can barely see my bottom half in them, but I do dance around in a skirt in the Irony video at the end, so I guess I should have expected this.
To add insult to injury... Today was the day shift and I also was on living quarters for the morning. And because the shift schedule just said "living quarters" for me and "living quarters (PM)" for the guy who comes after me, I thought I was only until the afternoon. This was silly of me, because every other time it's always been until 2PM.
Anyway, I basically started sleeping from 12PM, and the other two came into my room and were really mad. Apparently a warden had *called* the phone at the room I was supposed to be in. To ask what? To ask if we had gotten the hamburgers they gave us. I apologised for not answering the phone, then he asked that, and when I said yes, he was like ok and hung up.
So in the end that wasn't a big deal. I just fucked up again. It's alright that it passed by, and nothing should come of this particular mistake, but I still fucked up and I need to be careful.
The other thing though, I might be screwed. Jijun told me people might contact my congregation at this point. I REALLY hope it doesn't come to that, because then I'll have to tell me mom too. Ughhhhhh I hate this. Hopefully nothing comes of it.
Tonight is the night shift again. And I'm also on living quarters duty, I think... Tomorrow is also a holiday because 3/1 is a national holiday in South Korea but it was today on a Sunday so they made tomorrow a red letter day. Alright let's get my shit together.
So last night, as I was trying to sleep, my roommate told me something. It was Jijun, who is the sorta nosy one who likes to tell me off a lot but also provide me with information other people really don't divulge to me.
Anyway, he was saying that people are STILL talking about me being trans and gay and stuff, and specifically that they were looking at my YouTube. He told me to delete any that I had left, and I realised it was my video essays. There was another guy in the room with us, this is the one who is kind of not friendly with me and is also an inactive JW. He was saying that even HE heard about this, and that I'm in serious business if that's true because he's not really the nosy type and doesn't talk to a lot of people.
So the two of them, while watching, made me delete my video essays permanently while they watched. I wanted to just private them but they told me that's not good enough, and then said they couldn't trust me to do it off somewhere else.
So my video essays are gone now. I still have the video files, obviously, but the views and the comments are poof, gone. That pisses me off a lot. But honestly, I didn't like the first two video essays I made anyway. So this is not a too big of a loss, especially when I can reupload them eventually when I'm out of hot shit.
I just thought the essays didn't mattter because you can barely see my bottom half in them, but I do dance around in a skirt in the Irony video at the end, so I guess I should have expected this.
To add insult to injury... Today was the day shift and I also was on living quarters for the morning. And because the shift schedule just said "living quarters" for me and "living quarters (PM)" for the guy who comes after me, I thought I was only until the afternoon. This was silly of me, because every other time it's always been until 2PM.
Anyway, I basically started sleeping from 12PM, and the other two came into my room and were really mad. Apparently a warden had *called* the phone at the room I was supposed to be in. To ask what? To ask if we had gotten the hamburgers they gave us. I apologised for not answering the phone, then he asked that, and when I said yes, he was like ok and hung up.
So in the end that wasn't a big deal. I just fucked up again. It's alright that it passed by, and nothing should come of this particular mistake, but I still fucked up and I need to be careful.
The other thing though, I might be screwed. Jijun told me people might contact my congregation at this point. I REALLY hope it doesn't come to that, because then I'll have to tell me mom too. Ughhhhhh I hate this. Hopefully nothing comes of it.
Tonight is the night shift again. And I'm also on living quarters duty, I think... Tomorrow is also a holiday because 3/1 is a national holiday in South Korea but it was today on a Sunday so they made tomorrow a red letter day. Alright let's get my shit together.