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queen_unicorn_rejectDifficult decision
So to sum things up, I had to choose a "congregation" to go to. A congregation is the local member of the JWs that meet up at the Kingdom Hall twice a week. When me and 3 other JWs arrived in Seoul Detention Centre, the Korean branch of the JWs recommended that we go to Gwacheon.
Gwacheon hasn't been part of this "circuit" area until now - a circuit area is the cluster of congregations managed by a "circuit overseer" - meaning they have zero Alternative Service members there. They have about 40-50 members which is very low for a JW congregation, and a lot of elderly people. While the location isn't too far from the detention centre, they have no mode of transportation so bus or taxi is the only way. And the "ministry" area - where you go to do ministry service like going door-to-door - is very far, making it hard to do ministry service. (This is not a problem for me, because I don't intend on going often)
Anyway, the biggest problem is that because they have such a shortage of brothers, I am guaranteed to be tasked with a lot of work, like going up to the podium for speeches or handling the mics and amps. And I don't wanna do any of that shit.
Today I went to the Pyoungan congregation, because one of the brothers in the storage department told me I could go there instead. While the people at the congregation welcomed me and treated me well, the other brothers I went together with - a guy from my room who was appointed elder today, and another guy from storage who was driving - were pretty insistent on me not going there.
Here was their argument: While they tell you it's up to your personal decision, you are heavily pressured to choose your recommended congregation. And if I were to go against the Borg's orders, rumours of that would spread fast. I especially had to consider the fact that the other three brothers who came to the detention centre with me had decided to stick with Gwachceon that night. If I was the odd one out of the 4... Well, what these brothers in the car argued was that I would be stuck with a bad reputation at any congregation I go to besides Gwacheon.
Having a good reputation is paramount to my survival in this detention centre, especially among the JWs. They are the people I'll be dealing with for 1 year at minimum and potentially up to 3 years. And even if I went to Pyoungan, these two obviously don't want me there so there would be no point in going there specifically. I could go to Hogye Jungang, a congregation that another brother in storage recommended (I am his subordinate, actually) but 1. I don't really like this guy and 2. the organisers of the Seoul Detention Centre JW community has been pressuring us to choose our congregation tonight.
So all of this has, in combination, led me to the difficult decision of choosing Gwacheon. It's not ideal, and it's certainly not the situation I wanted to be in. But I simply have to think about my reputation on the line. I already sullied my reputation by not being good at my job and that whole "taking the phones too early" situation. I cannot also be labelled as a "spiritually weak" JW. Rumours of that will spread not just locally but probably generally across the Alternative Service community too. Choosing Gwacheon is my tactical retreat. I would rather suffer a little bit with having a lot of work on my hands than to risk my whole Alternative Service life.
It's really not ideal and it sucks a bit. But I think I can handle it a bit. The transportation is not that big of a deal. The work might be tough and I might just tell them straight up, hey, I am not a ministry servant or an elder, and I can't really handle a lot of work. If I'm honest, they might respect that too.
The biggest downside is this: On Sundays, the meeting is on 4PM. Now, I would've liked that back home, because I hate waking up at 9AM to go to the meetings. But in this case, that means I can't go home on Sundays. Once I'm done with my meeting and go back to the detention centre, it'd be 6PM, and it takes 30-40 minutes to go back and forth from there to home... There's just no time to do anything at my place, much less talk to Serena which is my main objective.
So I can only go home and hang out with Serena on Saturdays, and I only get to go outside on Saturdays every 2 weeks. Unless I earn a Saturday leave, through exchange with other people, which has not been so easy for me. So that means I only get to go home and hang out with Serena and do other stuff like record music every 2 weeks, twice a month... And once it's August, I'll get to go home and stay there for a few days every 5 weeks. So every 2 weeks, and then 5 weeks, I'll get to go home.
That's pretty bad. That's not a lot. I'll have to be economical with my time. This will be the biggest thing that this decision will impact my life on and hinder my happiness. Because the more often I can go home and talk to Serena, the more I can maintain my sanity. If I could've gone to a congregation that has meetings in the morning, like Pyoungan, I could've maybe gone home every week, with just less time on Sundays. That's not possible anymore now that I'm going to Gwacheon.
Anyway. That sucks. I don't like it. But tough decisions had to be made. The alternative decision was going to Pyongan and risking the wrath of the other brothers who already go there, and having bad rumours spread about me. I needed to prevent that at all costs. To be honest, the bad reputation thing might be a bit of a scare tactic, because I know for sure some other brothers didn't go to their recommended congregation and doing just fine; but the Gwacheon situation is a bit unique, and I could've risk anything.
Brian Wilson has passed away. I've been writing this while listening to Pet Sounds. I think he was the greatest living songwriter, but he's not living anymore, so now he's just the greatest songwriter. Rest in peace.
So to sum things up, I had to choose a "congregation" to go to. A congregation is the local member of the JWs that meet up at the Kingdom Hall twice a week. When me and 3 other JWs arrived in Seoul Detention Centre, the Korean branch of the JWs recommended that we go to Gwacheon.
Gwacheon hasn't been part of this "circuit" area until now - a circuit area is the cluster of congregations managed by a "circuit overseer" - meaning they have zero Alternative Service members there. They have about 40-50 members which is very low for a JW congregation, and a lot of elderly people. While the location isn't too far from the detention centre, they have no mode of transportation so bus or taxi is the only way. And the "ministry" area - where you go to do ministry service like going door-to-door - is very far, making it hard to do ministry service. (This is not a problem for me, because I don't intend on going often)
Anyway, the biggest problem is that because they have such a shortage of brothers, I am guaranteed to be tasked with a lot of work, like going up to the podium for speeches or handling the mics and amps. And I don't wanna do any of that shit.
Today I went to the Pyoungan congregation, because one of the brothers in the storage department told me I could go there instead. While the people at the congregation welcomed me and treated me well, the other brothers I went together with - a guy from my room who was appointed elder today, and another guy from storage who was driving - were pretty insistent on me not going there.
Here was their argument: While they tell you it's up to your personal decision, you are heavily pressured to choose your recommended congregation. And if I were to go against the Borg's orders, rumours of that would spread fast. I especially had to consider the fact that the other three brothers who came to the detention centre with me had decided to stick with Gwachceon that night. If I was the odd one out of the 4... Well, what these brothers in the car argued was that I would be stuck with a bad reputation at any congregation I go to besides Gwacheon.
Having a good reputation is paramount to my survival in this detention centre, especially among the JWs. They are the people I'll be dealing with for 1 year at minimum and potentially up to 3 years. And even if I went to Pyoungan, these two obviously don't want me there so there would be no point in going there specifically. I could go to Hogye Jungang, a congregation that another brother in storage recommended (I am his subordinate, actually) but 1. I don't really like this guy and 2. the organisers of the Seoul Detention Centre JW community has been pressuring us to choose our congregation tonight.
So all of this has, in combination, led me to the difficult decision of choosing Gwacheon. It's not ideal, and it's certainly not the situation I wanted to be in. But I simply have to think about my reputation on the line. I already sullied my reputation by not being good at my job and that whole "taking the phones too early" situation. I cannot also be labelled as a "spiritually weak" JW. Rumours of that will spread not just locally but probably generally across the Alternative Service community too. Choosing Gwacheon is my tactical retreat. I would rather suffer a little bit with having a lot of work on my hands than to risk my whole Alternative Service life.
It's really not ideal and it sucks a bit. But I think I can handle it a bit. The transportation is not that big of a deal. The work might be tough and I might just tell them straight up, hey, I am not a ministry servant or an elder, and I can't really handle a lot of work. If I'm honest, they might respect that too.
The biggest downside is this: On Sundays, the meeting is on 4PM. Now, I would've liked that back home, because I hate waking up at 9AM to go to the meetings. But in this case, that means I can't go home on Sundays. Once I'm done with my meeting and go back to the detention centre, it'd be 6PM, and it takes 30-40 minutes to go back and forth from there to home... There's just no time to do anything at my place, much less talk to Serena which is my main objective.
So I can only go home and hang out with Serena on Saturdays, and I only get to go outside on Saturdays every 2 weeks. Unless I earn a Saturday leave, through exchange with other people, which has not been so easy for me. So that means I only get to go home and hang out with Serena and do other stuff like record music every 2 weeks, twice a month... And once it's August, I'll get to go home and stay there for a few days every 5 weeks. So every 2 weeks, and then 5 weeks, I'll get to go home.
That's pretty bad. That's not a lot. I'll have to be economical with my time. This will be the biggest thing that this decision will impact my life on and hinder my happiness. Because the more often I can go home and talk to Serena, the more I can maintain my sanity. If I could've gone to a congregation that has meetings in the morning, like Pyoungan, I could've maybe gone home every week, with just less time on Sundays. That's not possible anymore now that I'm going to Gwacheon.
Anyway. That sucks. I don't like it. But tough decisions had to be made. The alternative decision was going to Pyongan and risking the wrath of the other brothers who already go there, and having bad rumours spread about me. I needed to prevent that at all costs. To be honest, the bad reputation thing might be a bit of a scare tactic, because I know for sure some other brothers didn't go to their recommended congregation and doing just fine; but the Gwacheon situation is a bit unique, and I could've risk anything.
Brian Wilson has passed away. I've been writing this while listening to Pet Sounds. I think he was the greatest living songwriter, but he's not living anymore, so now he's just the greatest songwriter. Rest in peace.
